I wasn't able to write a blog last week.

So much is going on, and I needed to work at the gallery.

I'm feeling pushed at from all sides.

Does that ever happen to you?

I have obligations to do two shifts at the gallery each month, take care of the puppy while my daughter helps out my mom and does our shopping, making dinner, cleaning house, yard work.....

Then I am trying to be a responsible business owner.

I need to paint regularly, organize and file my taxes, work on putting my book together, keep an eye on my finances, order supplies, fill orders, create invoices, package items for mailing, cut mat board, apply fixative to finished paintings, frame paintings, apply hanging wire, keep up my inventory, log my business miles, update my website, Redbubble, and Etsy sites......

I have meetings and trainings, I have family and a puppy. 

And every single item can bring me joy, enhances my life, and provides endless learning experiences.

Do you have someone is you life that you would rather not spend any time with?

I do.

This person never seems to be able to communicate without  some comment of disappointment or disapproval of me. From the way I wear my hair, the clothes I'm wearing, my timeliness, my work, my art, or a decision I've made-something ! Every single time.

So a couple of years ago I decided that while I'm healing, I would protect myself from those wounds on my self esteem.

It's worked really well. 

I'm much stronger and feeling more loved than I ever have before.

I have experienced joy for the first time in my memory.

I've been content in the past and had moments of happiness, but joy from the depths of my soul has been elusive.

This person contacted me and used emotional manipulation to spend time with me.

I know this is what they are doing, and I am going to help them out anyway.

I feel like I need to answer this request, and  am not looking forward to it.

Perhaps it is time.

If this person can be positive and gracious I will consider trying again.

If it doesn't go well I will walk away and protect myself once more.

I resent this person taking up my valuable time.

I resent the manipulation and game playing.

I honor honesty and truth.

I hope that I don't use manipulation in any of my relationships.

I hope that my feelings are expressed truthfully and that I allow others to make their own decisions based on their desires, knowledge, and time constraints, and that I am able to honor their boundaries with love and support.

I'm learning to honor myself and my needs, while at the same time want to be able to act with a loving and giving heart.

We all need to value ourselves, our gifts, and our abilities.

We need to be conscious of when we need to protect ourselves and ask for help.

We were not created to be alone.

We need community.

We need support from those around us, to help us to heal, to grow, and to experience love.

All relationships need to be healthy.

None of us needs to be ridiculed, emotionally bruised, or abused.

Each derogatory comment adds on the others and takes a huge tole on your emotional well being.

It has taken me a long time to realize that I deserve to be treated with respect and love.

Now that I've arrived here I can't afford to go backwards.

I have recently received comments that my paintings are full of light and communicate healing and well-being.

That is what I want them to do.

I want to spread light into the darkness, and to bring hope.

So as I meet with this person tomorrow, I do so cautiously.

I will try to have hope that this will be the time I will experience a healthy interaction.

When I am open to good things happening, I attract them to me.

Have a great weekend.