Over the past week I have been challenged to remain appreciative, understanding, gracious and hopeful.

 I have struggled to adapt to different ways of accomplishing my normal day to day tasks.

 I have felt some anxiety and frustration.

What a spoiled brat I can be!

 I am healthy.

 I have a wonderful home to live in.

 I own more than one internet device.

 I have food to eat and warm clothes to wear.

My children and grandchildren are healthy, safe, and content.

And  I allow  the temporary loss of a desk top computer, possible loss of my work, and the inconvenience of changing my habits to derail me.

 I also belong to a group of creative women who meet weekly to ponder those things in our lives that cause us to stumble as we work at building our small businesses.

We’ve been discussing emotional barriers, and this week we discussed triggers.

Without a doubt, my biggest trigger is grief.

And it’s the holidays.

As Christmas approaches I have many memories of growing up, of all our traditions, and of the teasing, laughter, and love from my brothers.

 I loved to sing, and when the Christmas songs begin to play on the radio I can’t  help but sing along.

Yesterday as I drove to the gallery for my turn to man the store, I turned on the radio and the Christmas carols started.

With the stress of the last week I haven’t been sleeping well, and my emotions were very near the surface.

So after a few lines of the first carol, my throat clogged up and the tears started.

 I was filled with grief and longing, gulping for air, and reaching for a Kleenex to clear my eyes.

Up ahead the light turned red.

I was the first in line, and a huge bald eagle circled above and swooped down in front of me.

He then soared back up, flew over my car cocking his head to look down at me and then circled twice before landing in a tree beside the intersection.

Let me tell you about the symbolism of the bald eagle in my life.

When my little brother died I was devastated, heart broken, and angry.

 I was depressed and barely able to take care of my two young children and make it to work each day.

 I started to walk around my neighborhood in the evenings to be able to have some alone time, process my feelings and rant at God.

One day as I walked I noticed a bald eagle flying strait above the street I was on.

He flew straight toward me, cocked his head, and seemed to look me in the eye.

I followed his flight until I had to turn around to see him, and in that few seconds he completely disappeared.

He was no longer visible in the sky or any tree tops.

He was gone.

And I was left with a sense of peace.

Bald eagles became my symbol for God’s presence.

Thereafter, whenever I have been troubled about my circumstances, a decision, or a new experience I have had an encounter with a bald eagle.

And yesterday I had another one.

After my tears of gratitude and appreciation stopped falling I had a successful day at the gallery.

 I sold multiple pieces of art, and two of them were mine!

 I returned home and my daughter had cleaned up the kitchen and helped with dinner.

I also had the subject for this weeks blog.

 I am blessed.

 I am capable of handling whatever life gives me.

And I am never alone.

 I have no doubt that when I get discouraged or disheartened again in the future God will send another of his beautiful eagles to remind me He is listening and taking care of me.

 I wish you all peace during this holiday season.

When you experience grief, know that you are not alone.

Allow yourself to feel the loss and heartache, or you won’t be able to progress in your healing.

And remember there is no time line to grief- it takes as long as it takes, it has a mind of it’s own, and it we return as many times as it needs to.