This is Wednesday, and the day I begin my blog which I publish on Friday morning. 

It’s been a difficult week.

I was targeted through the Etsy platform where I have a few pieces of my art for sale.

Last Saturday I added a new piece. It’s a wood slice measuring approximately 5 x 7 inches. I painted one of my popular images of moonlight on evergreen trees on it. I added it to my store.

20 minutes later I received a communication from Etsy. The person said they were from Etsy Admin and that someone was interested in my piece but they were unable to process the sale. They needed my bank account information……

I was so happy! I have been doubting my ability to create any art worthy of a sale, and here was one that sold in 20 minutes!  You can probably guess where this is going…..They took my bank card information, told me they needed to do a transaction that would immediately be returned….

Then they asked for another and I was having trouble having it go through, got frustrated and disconnected. I got an immediate message that my shop was temporarily disabled until I provided more information.

The next day I checked my bank account and saw a pending withdrawal of almost $450! I immediately contacted my bank and reported fraud.  The charge went through to some random company and I have to wait 10 days to see if the powers that be will get it back. The bank fraud department asked, “Did you give them your card information?” All I can say is “I thought it was Etsy!!”

I’m feeling a bit stupid, like I should have known I didn’t sell a piece of art that quickly…

Today is the anniversary of the day my big brother died. I was in college when he got sick. I lost my compass and protector that day. In the months following I lost nearly all my friends. No one was old enough at that time to understand grief. 

Grief never really goes away totally. Each time another person dies it is renewed. And these days I’m mourning the loss of democracy, decency, and the country I was once proud to be part of….

My PTSD is on high alert. I have received two messages from random men on substacks. I am unable to trust giving any information or emotional energy to men right now. I won’t survive any more abuse or manipulations. 

Life is just plain difficult. 

I know I am loved and that other people are going through similar emotions. 

Today I am functioning in a fog. 

There is not much I care about. 

I need to work on my taxes, but don’t really want to find out that I owe any money. 

I’m having difficulty finishing sentences on the page.

And now it’s time to pull on my big girl panties and be a grown up. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses. Without a bit of disappointment we would never appreciate the blessings when they come.

I don’t know what the future holds for me or anyone. I think our country is headed for difficult times. I believe our economy and democracy is in serious danger. And I also know that we have a God who is also rooting for the principals of our constitution to continue. 

So I pray each morning for the people who have been elected in the three branches of government. That they will remember the oaths they took that put them into office, and that they will be strengthened to speak out against those who are ignoring and systematically shredding each item in the constitution.

I have to trust that my money will be returned. I have to believe that tomorrow I will feel more inspired and capable of seeing some light in my life. And I have to hope that more people in this country will see the truth that the rest of the world does. 

I really don’t like evil people. I don’t like liars, manipulators, and those who want to take advantage of others.

If you are so smart to be able to use technology to steal from others, use your brain to stop disease, pollution, and

and environmental destruction.

You may be laughing now, but one day hell will be a never ending nightmare.